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10.04.2009

The Family That Loses Together, Stays Together

In light of our recent doctors' appointments it's become very clear that John and I both need to lose weight. This will, of course, come as a huge surprise to those who know us, seeing as how we're clearly Health Nuts and enjoy lots of outdoor activities... I can't even type that sentence with a straight face.

So the question becomes, how do we do it? How do we incorporate healthy activities into our lives? How do we find better food choices, and where do we find motivation? I ask those questions of myself more than of us as a couple, but I hope that hearing the words from the doctor will make it clearer this is a group effort that affects both of us, not just me and my desire to wear a smaller dress size.

Much of the responsibility falls on my shoulders, or at least it feels like it. I'm the one who so often says "I have been on my feet all day and I just want to sit down, eat whatever is quickest and most convenient, and play a video game and zone out until bedtime." I know we're in this together, and it takes both of us to make it work, but I'm aware of how my attitude and choices affect us both.

I was thinking of a web site someone shared with me years ago. It's called Dottie's Weight Loss Zone, and although I loathe the ad-and clip art-heavy page to the point I can't really deal with the site itself, there is a mantra on there that came into my head out of nowhere today. "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got." I keep thinking that something will change, and it hit me today that I have to consciously make the choices that lead to change.

It goes for everything - weight loss, finding a good job, studying for this technician exam in the meantime. I've gotten in such a rut lately, and it's not a healthy, positive rut. It's the rut of just existing, dealing with each day and not really thinking too much about the one that passed or the one ahead. No creativity, no real thought put into anything, no planning, just going through my days in a mindless sort of zombie-like daze.

That's not who I am. I'm not the late-arrival. I'm not the one just doing the minimum to get by. I don't stand by and watch while things I know in my heart are wrong keep happening. I'm not a passive person. I don't like conflict, but I don't like injustice more. I don't simply do what is easiest, I do what is most mindful. I've lost that mindfulness in my days and have been settling for what is in front of me.

To get us as a family to a healthier place, I have to get me as an individual to a healthier place. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. It's not about selfishness or self-centeredness, it's about doing what is best in the long term, dealing with the short term, and being aware of what happens each day.

It's a fervent hope that as we lose weight together, we get closer. We find things we both love, we explore different things for both of us, and discover a shared mindfulness of our days and our life.