My dirty little secrets

Hi, my name is Kelly and I have two dirty little secrets. They both involve the television.

I watch Sister Wives.

I watch the Kardashians.

Still reading? Good. I promise, I am not anti-women's rights. I personally do not want to be either a sister wife or a Kardashian, even though technically I might fit in a little bit with the whole K thing. (But then there is the pasty pale, no rear end thing, so I think they'd suss me out rather quickly.)

I watch Sister Wives, mainly because I think I'm secretly hoping one day Kody (geez, what is it with the Ks? Is that the theme here?) puts a toe out too far with one of his wives and they have a real Come to Jesus with him. I watch it because I adore Janelle's daughter Madison because she pretty much says what she thinks, and makes it clear her mother's choices won't be hers. I hope one day someone slaps Robin and gives, in full Lafayette from True Blood mode, a "bitch, please" to end all "bitch, please"es. I watch because as much as Douchey McBaggerson tries to act like he's the head of this household, he is totally at the mercy of four wives, whether he or they believe it or not. (And because I'm hoping someone points out the folly of a two-seater sports car when you have four wives and going-on-seventeen kids. I mean, at least Jim Bob Duggar drives a big Suburban type thing. Granted, he only has the one wife... okay, okay, so I watch that show too.)

I watch the Kardashians for reasons that are complicated. No, really. Part of me watches because I feel like I automatically look smarter in comparison. I watch because I want to find out when Lamar Odom finally has enough and tells them all they're crazy. I watch because... I mean have you SEEN Bruce Jenner lately? (Take a look at him in the Olympic footage, then look now. To borrow the phrase from Pajiba, he looks like Bruce Jenner's aunt whose sexuality may or may not be in question.) I watch because my family looks nice and normal by comparison.

There, two (or three) of my dirty little secrets. I kind of have a thing for train wrecks.