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11.08.2012

Things I May Never Understand

Things I may never understand, on this plane of existence at least:


  • I am 34 years old and I still break out like an angst-ridden teenager from time to time. I mean, really y'all. My chin should not look like a war zone, especially when I have the wee beginnings of crinkly bits around my eyes. 
  • The Diet Coke and Skipping Lunch Diet does not work either. I now have to think about things like "balanced nutrition" which no longer means "whatever you can inhale whilst vertical." I actually read labels... and look at things like fiber and sodium. I'm expecting my AARP application any day now.
  • Much like the internet meme, I find myself scolding my daughter for doing the exact thing that I would do, particularly if I were two and inquisitive. Or 34 and inquisitive. Whichever. 
  • You apparently cannot go around telling people when they're being stupid. I wish you got that once a day. I mean, I would want to know if I was being stupid. It would be a public service. Clearly out of nothing but Christian love for my brethren. (We should at least be able to hand someone a card saying "honey, please seriously reconsider wearing that ever again." Or at least "buy a full-length mirror and check your rear view.")

Some things, I suppose, we must wait to ask Jesus.