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1.02.2013

Discipline

I struggle a bit with discipline.

I over-intellectualize things. When I catch myself going down those rabbit holes, I start thinking things like "well in the grand scheme of things this doesn't matter as much as..." or "I know this in my brain, and I can start any time I want." I think a LOT. I feel like I need to make this enormous pro/con list and explore all the possibilities that go along with each pro and con before I make a decision.

Before I start, I'm second-guessing myself. It's not exactly a confident and disciplined way to approach most things, much less life in general. It's certainly not something I want to pass down to the girl-child.

I've read a lot of bloggers who choose a word of the year - it becomes their focal point, and the source of inspiration for them when all other sources go out (much like Galadriel's light, only less elven.) For me, that word in 2013 is discipline.

I need to learn it's not a bad thing. Discipline doesn't mean celery and cold showers and no fun. Discipline just means loving my family and myself enough to do the things that need to be done first, so we can enjoy the fun later. Discipline means keeping the big picture in mind so my monkey-mind doesn't forget where we are. Discipline means sometimes I'm going to have to do things that make Sarah cry, because she's only two and she's still learning.

So, discipline. No fear, no regrets, no looking back (in anger or otherwise.)

Happy 2013!